Secrets and Lies (Bensler fanfic)
by SVU4life1127
Summary: People use the colour yellow to symbolise hope. Yellow like the sun we rarely saw. When I was very young I thought life would be like one long and perfect summer day, after all it started out that way... Find out what happens when Alyssa Stabler finds Olivia's old journal (bensler fanfic) please R&R rated T FOR NOW
1. Chapter 1

Alyssa went to the attic looking for pictures for a school project about her family. She went through an old box and found a journal covered in dust. She turned over to the first page and began to read.

People use the colour yellow to symbolise hope. Yellow like the sun we rarely saw. When I was very young I thought life would be like one long and perfect summer day, after all it started out that way. We were four beautiful children with blonde hair and porcelain skin. People said we looked like those fancy dresden dolls that graced shelves and mantles, only we weren't just admired we were really loved. But that was before . Life is full of surprises my mother used to say and greed and fear and shame. As I soon learned ... and hopelessness. We never coloured even one of our paper flowers yellow.

Alyssa looked at it weirdly intrigued. So she put it in the box with her pictures and took it downstairs to read more. She got to her room and sat on the bed opening the journal on the next page.

I couldn't believe it. The house was even bigger than I could ever imagine. It must have been just before dawn as we entered. I looked over at Elliot. He looked so confident and sure of himself as I nervously walked beside him. He looked over at me and smiled. At first I thought he was going to make fun of me like he did at home. Before when dad was alive and mom was happy. But instead he took my hand in his and smiled. "Don't be so nervous. This is our home now" he said softly and I nodded still a little unsure .

We walked down corridors and past big rooms that I was so excited to explore. The old woman who I had now presumed to be our grandmother stopped at the end of a long hall on the far side of the house. She opened the door revealing a room which we were all rushed inside of. Her piercing grey eyes stared disapprovingly at me as I held El's hand so I quickly let go. She was a woman to be afraid of. And she was tall roo, making her very intimidating. As we sat on the two double beds she looked us all up and down. Then at our mother with disappointment. I was confused at first. But she soon made it very clear to me, to us all what was going on.

Alyssa heard her door being opened and she immediately hid the journal and pretended to be looking at baby pictures. "Hey mom" she said when she saw Olivia walk in.

"Hi sweetie what're you doing?" she asked sitting by her.

"Just looking at pictures I got in the attic. I needed them for a school project"

"The attic?"

"Yeah... is that OK. ..." she asked as she took out a picture of four young children with fair hair. They all looked miserable. Olivia saw her staring and she quickly grabbed the picture and put it in the box, picking it up.

"You have no business being up thete. There's stuff up there that you're not supposed to be going through. Stay out of there I mean it" she said before walking out. Alyssa wondered what she was hiding and she hoped the journal would give her some answers.

 **Sorry I wanted to put the parts where she was reading the journal in italics but lately my ff isn't working. Hope you enjoyed I'll try update and have more new stories up soon. Please review and lemme know if you want an update. Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Some readers may find this chapter offensive so please no negativity. My ideas are based around SVU and flowers in the attic. All SVU characters belong to Dick Wolf and all flowers in the attic characters belong to V.C. Andrews. Alyssa is my OC.**

 _Sinners. That's what she called us. Looking back maybe she was right. Maybe us four seemingly innocent children were indeed evil. Maybe we were never meant to be born. But there we were in that house. That prison. With no escape. The twins Cory and Carrie were so innocent and full of life, Elliot was always the optimist .. so what does that make me? I felt so out of place_ .

 _As time went on I just got used to being locked away . Our grandmother brought us food each day and our mother brought us new gifts to make up for our lost childhoods. I had such evil thoughts it made me ashamed. Thoughts I couldn't seem to shift. Thoughts about him... my own brother. I had a sicken feeling. What was wrong with me? I wanted out.. I wanted the twins to grow up and look back on their childhood as a beautiful time . A time of light, hope, freedom, innocence. None of which they would get here. But if we were to escape... Where would we go? I thought about this quite often. On one occasion Cory sat on my lap and looked up at me. "Livvie... Why do you look so sad? Momma is coming later" he smiled. We had all developed the habit of calling her momma because of Cory. It suited her warm and loving nature... In the beginning at least. So as I looked down at his tiny pale face I got tears in my eyes._

 _"I'm not upset" I said shakily, not realising the tears that started to flow down my face._

Alyssa closed the journal shut as the realisation hit her. She felt pity but also disgust. She walked down the stairs where Olivia was cooking. "How did you and dad meet?" she asked.

"We were young when we first met" Olivia said softly

"That's not what I asked" she replied coldly.

"We both fell in love in a very dark time of our lives. A time I'd rather not discuss with you" she said quietly

"You mean the attic" Alyssa mumbled.

"What did you just say?" Olivia asked shocked.

"The attic. The place where you slept with your brother! Y - you're you're a freak!" she yelled and Olivia stepped backwards in shock. "Your grandmother was right. You're evil! You... had me. .. which means... oh my god... What did you do?!" she screamed running up the stairs. Olivia quickly followed .

"Alyssa please. L-let me explain" Olivia called after her. But Alyssa kept running. She ran until she reached the attic. When she got to the door she roughly pushed Olivia inside and locked the door. As flashbacks overcame her Olivia began to panic. She banged on the door tearfully. She needed to get out.

"You're a sinner! You should've died in that room!" Alyssa screamed before running to her room and locking the door in tears. Olivia walked to the window and opened it stepping out onto the roof. Elliot was just getting home when he saw her. He quickly ran inside and to the attic. He banged on the door desparately trying to get to her. In the end he ended up kicking it open. He ran in and out onto the roof. He gently pulled her back inside

"She... she did this to us" Olivia said trembling. "We're freaks because of her" she cried and Elliot sighed sadly . He kissed her head. He knew she found it a lot harder to let go of their past than he did. And now Alyssa knew. This would only make things worse . There was still much she didn't know. ...


	3. Chapter 3

Alyssa paced in her room angrily. She couldn't believe her parents had kept this from her. She wanted more answers so she went back to the attic. She looked through some things until she found a box with papers and documents. She found Elliot and Olivia's original birth certificates and they were listed with the same last name. She found Cory and Carrie's birth certificates too. But she didn't find her own. She kept searching for it with no luck. She did however find a letter to her from her grandmother. She took it to her room and was hesitant on reading it. Finally she opened the envelope.

My dearest granddaughter

I have tried writing this letter many times although you were much too young. Your mother has probably burned this but if you are reading it. There's many things you need to know.

I should hope I'm still alive when you read this. As I would love to meet you. You can write back if you wish to get in contact. There's so much I know they haven't told you. If you want answers you know where to find me.

-Corrine

Alyssa didn't right back. Elliot and Olivia were at work so she decided to leave right away. She brought the journal with her. She wanted to get her facts straight and know everything she didn't understand.

Meanwhile at the precinct Elliot and Olivia were working a case where a boy raped his sister. "Really. I think it's sick" Fin started off. "I mean she's his sister. How could he look at her that way unless he was seriously fucked up?" he continued. Now this didn't get to Elliot in the slightest . He didn't see Olivia as a sister anymore but Olivia on the other hand felt saddened by his views.

"It'd be worse if it wasn't rape" Munch chimed in.

"That's aick" Mike added and Nick nodded in agreement.

"Some people go through shit! So what if your brother or sister is the only one you have! People can't help their feelings!" Olivia yelled tearfully.

"Liv calm down" Elliot said softly.

"N-no I have to go" she said starting to walk off. She felt dizzy like she could pass out at any second. And she did.

Alyssa knocked on the door nervously as she looked around at the huge house. She had never seen anywhere this huge before. It was hard now to imagine her mother's version of events. Corrine got to the door. "Alyssa? Is that you?" she smiled and Alyssa nodded.

"I've come for answers"

"Then you've come to the right place"

 **I hope you enjoyed. Sorry if there's any typos I was in a rush to get this up. Thanks for the reviews! Please lemme know what you think so far and what you think should happen next!**


	4. Chapter 4

**OK hopefully this chapter is a bit better. Please review I really appreciate your opinions. Also there's a lot more SVU involved in the next chapter. Although I also tried to add some parts with Elliot and Olivia in this one. Enjoy!**

Alyssa stepped inside and looked around with amazement. It looked as beautiful on the inside as it was on the outside. "Come on I'll get you something to drink" Corrine said walking towards the kitchen..

"No" Alyssa breathed in deep. "I wanna see where you kept them" she said and Corrine just looked at her quietly, her face fell.

"Oh... I don't think that's a good idea sweetie. Let's just talk somewhere else OK?"

"You said you would give me answers . So I want to see where you kept them. I want to see what drove them to do the things they did"

Corrine sighed and lightly grabbed her hand walking up four flights of stairs. She stopped at a room on the end of a long corridor. She slowly opened it. "This is where they slept" she said quietly. Alyssa walked in slowly and began looking through some drawers. She found a few photos and a bible but nothing much really.

Olivia got home. She wanted to talk to Alyssa about everything. She hadn't been herself but she was ready to explain to Alyssa now. She walked to the door and knocked lightly. "Alyssa? Can we talk please?" she asked but got no answer. "Alyssa?" she slowly opened the door. That's when she saw the journal open on her bed and the letter. "Oh god" she said in shock before running out of the room and straight into Elliot.

"Hey slow down. What's wrong?" he asked placing his hands on her shoulders to stop her moving away from him.

"She's gone... she's gone and I know exactly where"

"What are you talking about?"

"She's with mom"

"Liv. You're losing it. You need to just calm down" Elliot said softly

"No! No! No! Elliot we escaped that attic but we did not escape our mother. And now she has our little girl. So we're gonna get her back. I'm tired of you walking on eggshells around me. I can handle this. I'm perfectly capable of going back there" she said frustrated.

Alyssa walked up the steps to the attic. It was huge and dusty and all Olivia and Elliot's belongings were up their Toys, books, games. There was writing on the walls and drawings and arts and crafts kits on the floor. She looked back at Corrine. "You kept them here all the time" Alyssa said a little angrily.

"They were sinful children. Evil. You were conceived by evil. But you're not like them. That's only because they gave away their first born child"

"What are you talking about?"

"Your brother. When he was 2 years old and your mother found out she was pregnant with a baby girl she gave him up for adoption. Why do you think that is? Hmm?"

"That's not true!" Alyssa yelled getting tearful.

"She thought you would do the exact same thing she did. She thought you would sin as she did. Maybe she was right"

"I'm nothing like her and I'm nothing like you. I'm getting out of here" she walked to the door and Corrine stopped her. "W - what are you doing?" Alyssa stuttered...

Olivia got in the car and Elliot began driving at top speed. "She planned this" Olivia said panicking. "This is what she wanted. To take our little girl ... What if she has Kyle too?"

"We agreed not to talk about him" Elliot mumbled.

"He's our son!" Olivia yelled

"He's not our son anymore Olivia! He stopped being our son the second we gave up our parental rights!" Elliot yelled back angrily.

"I couldn't let them make the same mistake we did. The sane mistake our parents made" when she said this Elliot went silent. He drove faster but not fast enough. "Hurry up! " Olivia yelled getting agitated.

"I'm going as fast as I fucking can!"

"Well it's not fast enough! If anything happens it's on you!"

"No. It's on you! You should've burned that fucking letter! You should've dumped out everything from the attic! You shouldn't have kept that God damn journal!"

Silence filled the car as they pulled up at their childhood "home" Elliot stepped out of the car and Olivia quickly followed. They ran to the door and were surprised to see it was open. "Let's go check the attic" Elliot said running up the stairs. Olivia hesitantly followed as memories came flooding back. Sadness came over her as they reached the door. As it slowly creaked open they saw Alyssa and Kyle laying in a bed each. They were both unconscious and barely breathing.

"Oh my god" Olivia whispered tearfully as she walked closer. "Elliot please do something"

Elliot ran to Alyssa and picked her up before heading to the door. "Liv you coming?" he asked turning back to look at her.

"What about Kyle? We - we can't just leave him here like this. Not again" she said holding back tears. She felt so ashamed for leaving him the way she did. She couldn't do it again.. Elliot walked back to her and carefully handed her Alyssa before getting Kyle out of the bed. It took them awhile to get to the car but eventually they had got them both inside and Elliot drove off in a hurry to get to the nearest hospital or emergency centre of any kind.

As hours passed Elliot and Olivia waited nervously for news that their children were OK. "El... could you go get me something to eat?" Olivia asked softly and he nodded getting up. Once Olivia knew he was distracted she asked a nurse to take her blood and do a pregnancy test. While she waited she kept Elliot busy and distracted. She could handle these things better than he could. The only thing he could handle that she couldn't was their past. The attic.

"Congratulations. I'm happy to tell you that you're pregnant" the nurse smiled happily handing Olivia the results. She wasn't sure if she was happy or upset. She had so much to deal with and now she would have to tell Elliot which would only make matters worse...


	5. Chapter 5

"We agreed!" Elliot yelled slamming his hands down on the kitchen counter.

"El... I'm sorry" Olivia said tearfully.

"You know the risks! I love the kids but they were accidents. We were an accident"

"N-no... you don't mean that. You can't mean that. I love you" she looked him in the eye and all she saw was anger and resentment.

"I can't Liv...I can't. .. We've been living a lie all this time... but we need to face facts here for that baby's sake"

"It's not a lie. I love you Elliot. I love you so much"

"I love you too. But you're my sister. I have to love you like a brother loves his sister because I can't justify what we're doing anymore. When we were kids we were foolish. We weren't careful. We didn't even know the risks, and as we got older I blamed mom. I convinced myself that it was her fault we turned out so twisted but it's not. It's mine. I was supposed to protect you and now all this is happening..." he trailed off

"What are you trying to say?" she asked tearfully.

"I'm saying it's over Olivia" and with that he walked off. Olivia stood there frozen. She didn't know how to react. She headed back to the hospital to check on Kyle and Alyssa.

She slowly walked into Kyle's room. The nurses told her he was awake so she decided to try and talk to him. "Hi" she said quietly.

"Look. Don't feel bad. Grandma took good care of me. Even though she was never there. The servants told me about you and dad. If I'm being honest I think I'm better off living the way I do . What you did was sick. I'm ashamed to be your son. And I'm nothing like you. Neither is Alyssa. So get out and I'd appreciate it if you didn't come back" he said coldly. His eyes were full of hatred and anger so Olivia decided to just back off for now.

As months went on Olivia and Elliot spoke less and less. Alyssa went to live with Kyle and the rest of her family. They only came together to discuss the death of their grandmother. This would mean Olivia would have to face her mother ... This wouldn't end well...

 **Sorry it's rushed and there might be typos PLUS it's really short but that's because I'm saving all the drama for the next chapter. It's about to get real when everyone comes together and emotions run high .**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry I was away but I'm back now. Let me know if you'd like more. I'm also working on some new ideas. I hope you'll really enjoy. Also I rushed this (as usual) so there might be typos.**

Olivia pulled up outside the huge house where she had been kept for so many years. She hadn't seen Elliot or Alyssa in months now and she felt so alone and so scared. She stepped inside hesitantly. "Darling you're here" Corrine smiled looking her up and down. "You should rest. You've had a long trip"

"I'm fine. The babies are fine. Let's just get this over with" Olivia said agitated. She hated the way her mother pretended to care.

"Babies? More than one?" she smiled.

"Yes Corrine. More than one. I'm having twins actually" she said coldly.

"Oh. They're going to be a handful"

"Oh really? And how would you know considering you never raised yours" When she said this Corrine simply laughed lightly and walked off. Olivia looked around quietly. The house still scared her after all these years.

"Mom! You came!" Alyssa yelled grabbing heshe her attention. She forced a smile and gave her a hug. Elliot walked in behind her with a woman. She looked over and felt such hurt and anger. They looked happy holding hands . Olivia looked down realising she was still wearing her wedding ring. She quickly took it off and shoved it in her pocket. Elliot approached her. "This is Sally my wife. Sally this is Olivia. My sister" he said, his eyes seeming cold. Dark even. Olivia backed up a little but nodded. Sally congratulated her on the pregnancy before walking off. She shut her eyes taking a deep breath. Alyssa lightly tapped her shoulder.

"They got married a few weeks ago because she's pregnant... but he misses you. I know he does" she said but that wasn't helping. She walked past her into the toom where they were all meeting to discuss things. Corrine handed Olivia a glass of water. "Thank you" she mumbled taking a sip. Corrine just smiled and walked up in front of everyone. She began to speak of the money arrangements and how everything is still being sorted through. But Olivia wasn't focused on that, she felt a sharp pain in her stomach. She went to stand up, dropping the glass before collapsing on the floor. Blood trickled down her legs. A scream of pain escaped her. Everyone stared but no one helped. Not even Alyssa. "P - Please help me" Olivia cried out in pain. Her breathing quickened. Elliot was horrified.

"What's happening to her?!" he yelled in a panic. He tried to run to her but Sally gently pulled him back.

"Those babies can't be born. We're ending this" she said and he pushed her away angrily. He ran to her side trying to figure out what's wrong. She looked at him tearfully. "Please j-just save the babies and find them a..a... g-good home I know you don't..." her eyes began closing..

"Liv look at me. I want these babies. I'm so so sorry. Please. Stay with me ok. Just stay with me" he pleaded but things got worse. She began coughing up blood. "What did you give her?!" he yelled, tears forming in his eyes. No one spoke. Elliot picked her up and ran outside. But the keys to his car were gone...


	7. Chapter 7

p style="text-align: center;"strongTHIS CHAPTER IS AN AUTHORS NOTE I APOLOGISE IT WILL BE POSTED ON ALL MY STORIES. PLEASE READ ALL OF IT THANK YOU!/strong/p  
p style="text-align: center;" /p  
p style="text-align: center;" /p  
p style="text-align: left;"strongSo if I'm being honest, I'm starting to hate which was once my favourite site. I'm sick and tired of explaining this to people. Yes my chapters are short. There's no excuses just one reason. I am legally blind and recently my sight hasn't been doing great. I'm in and out of the hospital on a weekly basis so I'm sorry if I didn't think. Oh this should be 5 thousand words because my followers are more important than real life or ohh I spelled one word wrong or autocorrect changed something because I'm typing on a phone I've had for a few years so it's pretty wonky. I love to write. I always have and I don't appreciate being told I can't. Especially from anonymous users or guests who probably don't even write themselves. In my opinion the wattpad community is much more supportive and enjoyable. People use constructive criticism instead of negativity and rudeness ANYWAY TO GET TO THE POINT I'm thinking of deleting my account because I've got a lot going on and clearly people on here don't like my stories anyway. The past few days it's just been negative reviews and PMs so... let me know what you think and where I actually stand because I know there are some fandoms on here that are great so this wasn't really directed towards everyone. If you have a problem. You can PM or review but don't go hiding behind guest or anonymous because you won't really have a leg to stand on. Usually this stuff doesn't bother me and I ignore it but lately it's just getting to be too annoying. IF YOU DON'T LIKE A STORY DON'T READ IT. SIMPLE!/strong/p  
p style="text-align: center;"strongThanks again for reading and thank you to all my loyal and kind readers. I appreciate you taking the time to read all this it really means a lot to me to know people are on my side /strong/p 


	8. Chapter 8

**SO I'M THINKING OF REALLY COMING BACK. I KNOW I WAS GONE A LONG TIME I EVEN MADE ANOTHER ACCOUNT TO START WRITING multifaanficlove BUT I CAN'T KEEP DITCHING MY ACCOUNTS OR I'LL MAKE UP HALF THE POPULATION. NOW I JUST NEED TO KNOW WHAT STORIES YOU WANT UPDATED AND FOLLOW MY OTHER ACCOUNT I'LL TRY TO KEEP UP WITH BOTH. ONE WILL PROBABLY GET DROPPED EVENTUALLY BUT AT LEAST YOU'LL KNOW WHERE TO FND ME. NOW I NEED ALL YOUR COMMENTS AND PMS WITH SUGGESTIONS**

 **NO HATE PLEASE!**


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